I had a special "proud parent" moment last night. Sydney danced the part of "Clara" in our local Nutcracker production. Since she got the part in September, I have known that this would be a special night, but I was so nervous for her that I almost couldn't concentrate on the show. Of course, this child, who is the opposite of me in many ways, doesn't really get nervous. She was, however, so keyed up that she has been somewhat difficult to live with for the past few days.
Nevertheless, once the curtain opened she did an absolutely beautiful job. The moments when she took the stage for her "solo" dances were breathtaking to me. I recognize that I, like all parents, see my girls through the bias of the fact that they are mine, but last night as Sydney danced some of the steps I hadn't seen her practice before I was struck by the fact that she is truly graceful and a beautiful dancer. And that smile on her face lit up the stage because it was genuine, from the heart of a girl who loves to dance and comes to life when the audience is watching.
On the way out of the theater another ballet mom stopped me and said that Sydney's performance made her cry because she was so perfect in that part. That observation could not be more true. If there was ever a girl born to play Clara it is Sydney, who has been fascinated with nutcrackers since she was tiny and has amassed a personal collection of "young men" that fills our fireplace mantel each Christmas. Another friend commented that Sydney has been training to play Clara her whole life. When the play reached the part where Clara is asleep on the bench holding her precious nutcracker, my husband leaned over to me and commented that Sydney must be truly happy at that moment.
And although this was certainly Sydney's night, Tess did a magnificent job and actually ended up teaching me a lesson that may be the most important of all. This child, who I tend to baby and coddle because she is my youngest, managed to guide herself through 4 costume changes, which included improvising in the face of a costume malfunction, and flawlessly pulled off her roles of leading the snowflakes and the baby lambs as well as stepping into her sister's role as a lead angel while Sydney did her Clara thing. I made an offhand comment to my sister that apparently Tess is very capable when I allow her to be, and she raised her eyebrows and chuckled as if to say "Where have you been all this time?" So maybe one of my resolutions for the new year is to step back a little and let my baby be the young lady she is becoming.
So here I am writing this rambling post when I'm supposed to be cleaning up for my cookie party. But I couldn't let the wonder of last night fade into the rush of a new day without recording how special it was and how proud I am of these young women who I am blessed to call mine.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
a great day
Just a quick post to memorialize the great day that was yesterday. I had a list of Christmas-related things to finish, and my plan was to drop the girls at school, hit the road to get the errands done, then come home and start some preparation work for my annual cookie exchange party this weekend. Since yesterday was my only real day to do any meaningful prep before the day of the actual party, it was really important to me to make a good start so as to avoid the last minute stress and unpleasantness of not feeling ready.
But as the girls dawdled over their breakfast and I began the typical morning "hurry up, we're going to be late" drill, I was overwhelmed by a sense of not wanting to rush them out the door. Yes, I had things to do. But I also knew I didn't have another day between now and Christmas to spend exclusively with them. So I ventured the question, "Do either of you have any tests today? Do you know what your homework for tonight is? . . . Would you like to stay home today?" Which instantly made me the best mother on the face of the earth, according to my girls.
I did set a few ground rules. We would still get ready and go get the errands done. Then they could relax, but they also had to find time to help me do some straightening up for the party. And they weren't allowed to fight on threat of being hauled immediately to school.
And it was a great day. They at ice cream at 9:30 a.m. while we were out on one of our errands (Sydney called it the best "brunch" she's ever had). They filled up the sink and had Littlest Pet Shop swimming races. Tess had a drama play with her nativity set while Sydney helped me arrange the pictures in our newly painted hallway. Then Tess wrapped the gift bags for the party while Sydney vacuumed the living room and I cleared away the excess junk on the counters to make room for party platters.
At the end of the afternoon we went to ballet class and Tess floated the idea of just declaring it Christmas vacation this week and not showing up at school or work again until after the first of the year. Oh, I wish!
An awesome day. The type of day my own mother would never have authorized during my childhood. But a day I hope my girls remember forever. I know I will.
But as the girls dawdled over their breakfast and I began the typical morning "hurry up, we're going to be late" drill, I was overwhelmed by a sense of not wanting to rush them out the door. Yes, I had things to do. But I also knew I didn't have another day between now and Christmas to spend exclusively with them. So I ventured the question, "Do either of you have any tests today? Do you know what your homework for tonight is? . . . Would you like to stay home today?" Which instantly made me the best mother on the face of the earth, according to my girls.
I did set a few ground rules. We would still get ready and go get the errands done. Then they could relax, but they also had to find time to help me do some straightening up for the party. And they weren't allowed to fight on threat of being hauled immediately to school.
And it was a great day. They at ice cream at 9:30 a.m. while we were out on one of our errands (Sydney called it the best "brunch" she's ever had). They filled up the sink and had Littlest Pet Shop swimming races. Tess had a drama play with her nativity set while Sydney helped me arrange the pictures in our newly painted hallway. Then Tess wrapped the gift bags for the party while Sydney vacuumed the living room and I cleared away the excess junk on the counters to make room for party platters.
At the end of the afternoon we went to ballet class and Tess floated the idea of just declaring it Christmas vacation this week and not showing up at school or work again until after the first of the year. Oh, I wish!
An awesome day. The type of day my own mother would never have authorized during my childhood. But a day I hope my girls remember forever. I know I will.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
tweeniness
My husband and I are learning that parenting an 11 (excuse me, 11 and-a-half! ) year old girl can be an unpredictable adventure. While our Syd is pretty agreeable most of the time, we've noticed some changes lately. She seems to be in a bit of a fog, and all of a sudden our independent thinker is very concerned about her friends' opinions. I know it's all part of growing up, but this is the time we have dreaded for years, when mom and dad become fixtures -- or worse, out-of-touch duds. The good news is that in her "normal" moments, she recognizes that she's a bit difficult to deal with and seems genuinely remorseful over the hurt feelings she sometimes causes.
It's a bit of a tightrope act -- trying to allow her the space to deal with her quick-changing emotions while still enforcing basic requirements of politeness and family involvement. Last night at bedtime prayers I asked God to help Sydney as she grows up to always know that her family is there for her, even when her friends let her down, and to know most of all that she can depend on God for whatever she needs in life. Afterward she asked what I thought was wrong with her that she needed to be prayed for. Seems she wants to blend into the family background, even at prayer time. I assured her that I think she's a perfectly normal 11 -and-a-half-year old girl, but that I'm always going to pray for her.
So I guess we'll buckle up and brace ourselves for the amazing adventure of teenager-ness. I've been told it gets worse, but I hope not. I know many people who have weathered the storms of raising teenagers just fine, without the stereotypical drama usually associated with those years. Well, I know a few people like that. At least one or two. In any case, I'm optimistically aiming to be one of them.
It's a bit of a tightrope act -- trying to allow her the space to deal with her quick-changing emotions while still enforcing basic requirements of politeness and family involvement. Last night at bedtime prayers I asked God to help Sydney as she grows up to always know that her family is there for her, even when her friends let her down, and to know most of all that she can depend on God for whatever she needs in life. Afterward she asked what I thought was wrong with her that she needed to be prayed for. Seems she wants to blend into the family background, even at prayer time. I assured her that I think she's a perfectly normal 11 -and-a-half-year old girl, but that I'm always going to pray for her.
So I guess we'll buckle up and brace ourselves for the amazing adventure of teenager-ness. I've been told it gets worse, but I hope not. I know many people who have weathered the storms of raising teenagers just fine, without the stereotypical drama usually associated with those years. Well, I know a few people like that. At least one or two. In any case, I'm optimistically aiming to be one of them.
Monday, December 7, 2009
gettin' merry
Our family has had two opportunities to get into the spirit of the Christmas season in the last week. The first was our town's annual Christmas parade, which we attended for the first time since my youngest was a baby. The girls rode on the float for their ballet company's Nutcracker performance. It was a cold, clear night -- no rain, yay! Although it was a major struggle to get the girls fed, costumed, and onto the float on time, once my friend and I pulled up our corner of curb and settled in to visit and watch the parade it turned out to be an enjoyable evening. It was also funny to see Sydney, who is Clara in the production this year and therefore the star of the float, in full "diva" mode, waving adoringly at her "fans," with a princess-style smile pasted across her face. When they passed our spot I had to yell and wave frantically to get her to see me, which resulted in a break in that fake smile, a genuine wave, and "Oh, hi Mom!" It was one of those moments where all the craziness she causes in her pre-hormonal junior-highness melts away and the earth stops for just a split second to let me see how blessed I am to have this girl for my daughter.
Tess, who had to dress as a boy to re-enact the Nutcracker party scene on the float, was gracious and in fact very charming, and of course I didn't have to yell to get her attention. My sweet baby is pretty much always tuned in to where I am and how long we've been apart and she still misses me when we are not together, she says.
Overall it was a fun night with a small-town feeling (even though it was packed) and people in the crowd yelling "Merry Christmas" at the float participants and at each other and generally being of good cheer.
Over the weekend we continued a family tradition of attending a "holiday lights" event at an amusement park a couple of hours away. For the last 2 years we have been joined on this trip by my parents and my sister and her family. Although it gets a little crazy with such a big group, it is low-key and festive and a lot of fun. I insisted on going this year because I thought it might be the last year that my girls (Syd in particular) would be interested in such a trip, since the particular amusement park caters more to younger kids and doesn't incorporate the thrill rides that are the trademark of being a teenager. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she had as much fun as the younger kids and enjoyed helping out with her cousins and having the extended family together. I think we just might squeak another year or two out of her, after all.
There is so much comfort for me in going back to places we have taken the girls since they were very young. On this trip, for example, my husband and I were reflecting on the many times we have stayed at the same hotel to visit this particular theme park and on some of the "highlights" of the past, like the time Tess scraped her toe under the bathroom door upon arrival and insisted the trip was over and we all just needed to go home. Or the time Syd and I both got sick in the early morning hours and we did, in fact, go home. Or the hot summer trip where we made use of the hotel's pool for an afternoon. Or one trip where Kirk and Tess got up early to go on a "power walk" around the neighborhood. So many memories in one place, yet it is difficult to see how the time has gone so quickly. Anyway, it was a great trip. No one got sick or injured, and even though it was bitterly cold we had the easy companionship of family, the cheer of the season, and the happy memories of the past to keep us warm.
Tess, who had to dress as a boy to re-enact the Nutcracker party scene on the float, was gracious and in fact very charming, and of course I didn't have to yell to get her attention. My sweet baby is pretty much always tuned in to where I am and how long we've been apart and she still misses me when we are not together, she says.
Overall it was a fun night with a small-town feeling (even though it was packed) and people in the crowd yelling "Merry Christmas" at the float participants and at each other and generally being of good cheer.
Over the weekend we continued a family tradition of attending a "holiday lights" event at an amusement park a couple of hours away. For the last 2 years we have been joined on this trip by my parents and my sister and her family. Although it gets a little crazy with such a big group, it is low-key and festive and a lot of fun. I insisted on going this year because I thought it might be the last year that my girls (Syd in particular) would be interested in such a trip, since the particular amusement park caters more to younger kids and doesn't incorporate the thrill rides that are the trademark of being a teenager. I was pleasantly surprised to see that she had as much fun as the younger kids and enjoyed helping out with her cousins and having the extended family together. I think we just might squeak another year or two out of her, after all.
There is so much comfort for me in going back to places we have taken the girls since they were very young. On this trip, for example, my husband and I were reflecting on the many times we have stayed at the same hotel to visit this particular theme park and on some of the "highlights" of the past, like the time Tess scraped her toe under the bathroom door upon arrival and insisted the trip was over and we all just needed to go home. Or the time Syd and I both got sick in the early morning hours and we did, in fact, go home. Or the hot summer trip where we made use of the hotel's pool for an afternoon. Or one trip where Kirk and Tess got up early to go on a "power walk" around the neighborhood. So many memories in one place, yet it is difficult to see how the time has gone so quickly. Anyway, it was a great trip. No one got sick or injured, and even though it was bitterly cold we had the easy companionship of family, the cheer of the season, and the happy memories of the past to keep us warm.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
christmas countdown
Well, I'm back. I can't believe how quickly this year has gotten away from me. I so regret not being more disciplined about keeping up with the blog, as this is such a great way to record those little day-to-day moments that are otherwise forgotten. Since it's December 1st (already!) I decided to jump back in and try to do better for the Christmas season.
In reviewing the list I made last year of things I wanted to do differently this season, I am pleased to say that my Christmas cards are all done and ready to be addressed. The homemade Christmas card has long been a tradition in our house, but waiting until the last minute to make the cards can (and has in the past) be very stressful. This year I had the cards designed but wanted to do something extra-special to showcase the photos from our trip to Hawaii this summer. Turns out it's very difficult to make a Hawaiian card that also looks Christmas-y. So I ended up with a beautiful card from Shutterfly with just the right tropical-yet-holiday touch.
In addition, my shopping is DONE. Yay! And just yesterday I finished wrapping the gifts that need to be shipped to loved ones far away. Next on my list is the gingerbread ornaments to hang on the kids' tree. I'll have to wait to tackle that one until after our trip with the cousins this weekend. But all the other Christmas decorations are up and sparkling.
So all in all, I think I'm in a pretty good position to have a more restful Christmas season this year. That means I should have ample extra time to write here.
In reviewing the list I made last year of things I wanted to do differently this season, I am pleased to say that my Christmas cards are all done and ready to be addressed. The homemade Christmas card has long been a tradition in our house, but waiting until the last minute to make the cards can (and has in the past) be very stressful. This year I had the cards designed but wanted to do something extra-special to showcase the photos from our trip to Hawaii this summer. Turns out it's very difficult to make a Hawaiian card that also looks Christmas-y. So I ended up with a beautiful card from Shutterfly with just the right tropical-yet-holiday touch.
In addition, my shopping is DONE. Yay! And just yesterday I finished wrapping the gifts that need to be shipped to loved ones far away. Next on my list is the gingerbread ornaments to hang on the kids' tree. I'll have to wait to tackle that one until after our trip with the cousins this weekend. But all the other Christmas decorations are up and sparkling.
So all in all, I think I'm in a pretty good position to have a more restful Christmas season this year. That means I should have ample extra time to write here.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
lessons
School's only been out for a little over a week, yet it feels like we plunged fully into summer, like being pushed into the deep end of the pool without a chance to take a breath and brace yourself. I love this time of year, when the girls are unrestricted by any schedule (except mine) and they get to stay up later and spend more leisure time with the family and friends they love. The summer also poses some challenges, as I still have to work and the lure of spending the carefree days with them is sometimes overwhelming. Still, they have a pretty diverse schedule, spending time with their cousins at my sister's house and with friends at some day camps here and there.
But before we are knee deep in summer pleasures I wanted to take a moment to record the lessons that this school year brought us. Not so much the academic lessons, but the life ones. Because this year we changed schools and then changed back mid-year. And at the time it was difficult to see the lesson in that, other than that parents sometimes make mistakes and we need to be big enough to admit them. But as the school year came to a close, Sydney shared with me that she feels she grew spiritually this year because of that experience. She says she learned that she doesn't need to fit in with a particular group of friends just because it seems "the thing to do" and that she is more confident in declining to go along with the group and branching out on her own than she was before. Seems like a pretty timely lesson, with middle school just around the corner.
And so we forge ahead into summer. I do have a few academic goals in mind, such as teaching Tess her multiplication tables, and our table is stacked with library books that we are reading like crazy. But mostly I just want to enjoy this time, mindful of the fact that in a few more years this kind of summer, where I can orchestrate their activities and they are happy enough just to spend a day at home with us, will only exist in my memory.
But before we are knee deep in summer pleasures I wanted to take a moment to record the lessons that this school year brought us. Not so much the academic lessons, but the life ones. Because this year we changed schools and then changed back mid-year. And at the time it was difficult to see the lesson in that, other than that parents sometimes make mistakes and we need to be big enough to admit them. But as the school year came to a close, Sydney shared with me that she feels she grew spiritually this year because of that experience. She says she learned that she doesn't need to fit in with a particular group of friends just because it seems "the thing to do" and that she is more confident in declining to go along with the group and branching out on her own than she was before. Seems like a pretty timely lesson, with middle school just around the corner.
And so we forge ahead into summer. I do have a few academic goals in mind, such as teaching Tess her multiplication tables, and our table is stacked with library books that we are reading like crazy. But mostly I just want to enjoy this time, mindful of the fact that in a few more years this kind of summer, where I can orchestrate their activities and they are happy enough just to spend a day at home with us, will only exist in my memory.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
mother's day
It was a great Mother's Day weekend. It has occurred to me that the girls are at the perfect age to really make Mother's Day a lot of fun. They are old enough to understand the concept of honoring mom on her special day yet still young enough to wholeheartedly jump in and participate.
Sydney had spotted a gift she wanted to give me at a local store several weeks ago, and after several cryptic phone calls between our house and grandma's she managed to secure the desired item by sending her grandmother to purchase it for her. Tess was less sneaky but nevertheless arranged a shopping trip for herself with her grandma to select and purchase the perfect gift. Apparently when they got to the store my mom discovered Tess had $30 of her own money wadded up in her pocket. Imagine her delight when the lotion set she wanted to buy turned out to be on sale for only $8!
The three of them (my mom and my daughters) returned to my house and holed up in the girls' bedroom wrapping the treasures. I think the girls were more excited for me to open them than I was! And so I received a lovely coffee mug filled with chocolates and a body wash/lotion set in a beautiful tropical print cosmetic bag. And the absolute gift of seeing the girls' true delight at giving me things they picked out and paid for themselves.
The things I received are lovely, but the feeling of being so loved by my daughters is priceless.
Sydney had spotted a gift she wanted to give me at a local store several weeks ago, and after several cryptic phone calls between our house and grandma's she managed to secure the desired item by sending her grandmother to purchase it for her. Tess was less sneaky but nevertheless arranged a shopping trip for herself with her grandma to select and purchase the perfect gift. Apparently when they got to the store my mom discovered Tess had $30 of her own money wadded up in her pocket. Imagine her delight when the lotion set she wanted to buy turned out to be on sale for only $8!
The three of them (my mom and my daughters) returned to my house and holed up in the girls' bedroom wrapping the treasures. I think the girls were more excited for me to open them than I was! And so I received a lovely coffee mug filled with chocolates and a body wash/lotion set in a beautiful tropical print cosmetic bag. And the absolute gift of seeing the girls' true delight at giving me things they picked out and paid for themselves.
The things I received are lovely, but the feeling of being so loved by my daughters is priceless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
